NEAR to the Pulse

Ok, here’s the pulse. And this is your finger, far from the pulse, jammed STRAIGHT up your ass! Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel…? — Brody Bruce, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”

I have always had a deep seeded fixation with the term “finger on the pulse”. At the time it stemmed from a difficulty with being able to understand precisely what the meaning of it entailed, despite using whatever context clues existed to clarify my lack of understanding. It took a plucky, clever witted young man from Jersey with a penchant for film making based on his life there to make it make sense. First in his above film, then back to an older time with his Clerks animated show which I also loved. I owe a lot to Kevin Smith if we are being frank; it could very well be debated that his characters and universe are one of the greatest major influences of my youth and personality, short of the Terminator and Indiana Jones… and Hamato Donatello. What was one of the biggest things I was turned onto? Nerd culture! Or more accurately, the idea that nerd culture could not only be ever present in daily life well into adulthood.

There stood the cast, in a mall or in front of(or inside) a convenience store, discussing or shouting nonsense from Star Wars or Marvel Comics. It was like my brain was made into script. I inhaled them, and Ii mean ALL of them. There isn’t a single Askew-niverse piece of media I didn’t rewatch more than twice, and the majority I can recite almost entirely from memory. Yes, that includes chasing Amy. In fact, I just popped in Mallrats on my phone to keep the juices flowing in the right direction. Fun fact, the VHS copy I religiously stared at almost daily seems to have been short of the current edition. The one I’m streaming now seems to have an extra introductory segment in which Mr. Svening was lobbying for his game show prior to the day of the events in the film, complete with his daughter and her lover(T.S.) star gazing on the roof. It seems the intro I’m used to is not going to occur, which makes sense I suppose… the one I saw on tape was a bit… low brow. That said, I love this film, this stuff… this culture.

I suppose that’s why more than any other reason that I adhered to the faith of geeks. Despite the protestations of my loved ones, flying in the face of the derision and mockery of my peers, even regardless of my grams pleas to turn away from the devil that it was. She was a traditionalist.Don’t hold the holy rolling against her, she’s from the old country and finds almost anything that was modern or overly western as little more than hellish propaganda. Not that it ever registered. However I did feel bad that I kept breaking her heart with my metal and literature and anime. All this amounted to little as I was too devout an acolyte to the world of superheroes and scifi. I watched TMNT more than I played outside, loved the X-Men above Jesus, and the Force was ALWAYS with me. Sometimes I wasn’t with it, mind you, but still it was out there… like the truth in the X-Files. Here I continue, typing away my thoughts and devotion for you, sharing my first love with the masses. Ready for more reviews of what is now popular culture? Ironic, I know. All the same, let’s do this…

MHA is first. Don’t know the acronym? Most don’t anymore, it seems the fandom for My Hero Academia has dwindled over the past couple seasons. I don’t blame the fairweather viewers for it mind you, the last 30 episodes or so have been mildly filler-feeling or at the very least too Gary-stu/Mary-sue. I grant you that much is a fair assessment. For many including me it got way too feel-good in the more climactic sections of episodes. The only reason I powered through them is due to my proclivity for spoiling my own stories to gauge the depth of its long term value. Which to me at least it very much did, given how hooked I was from the first installments of the first season. I can’t help it to be honest; the concept of a hardcore powerless fan-boy who dreams of being a hero was too on the nose for me to ignore for very long, which I admittedly did initially. I found it mildly base at face value: cookie cutter high school anime with a bright eyed naive kid who wants to make a difference. Nothing huge or original about it. Except for the protagonist being almost a carbon copy of myself growing up, that factor I hadn’t taken into account. Nor had I considered how much that alone could carry me up the hill. I suppose that and the spoilers pushed me past the less intriguing scenes within the program. It has picked up solidly though, Rogue Deku is here and boy was that good stuff to see. If you’re behind on the show I wouldn’t begrudge you giving it another shot, if you can manage to get past the portions with the school extracurriculars.

Tales of the Jedi? Heard of it? I hadn’t. Not until I began scrolling the Disney application and saw the artwork for it: Ahsoka Tano, baby faced and in plain view for all nerds to hype over. “Snips… I didn’t expect to see that, “ I concluded. A quick google and some deduction led me to realize it was more Star Wars lore that I could eat up in less than a movie’s time. There was plenty to enjoy, some Anakin, some Ahsoka, even some Dooku origin stories. I was not aware I wanted that last one, but I couldn’t have been more glad I opted in. With the coming of the second season well in view, I picked quite the opportune time to jump aboard. That could’ve been one huge factor in deciding why I gave it the college try, besides wanting to see more of Anakin’s apprentice which I imagined would give me more access to Vader himself by proxy. I was not mistaken; I did get plenty of it, at least enough to satiate my desire to delve into the Clone Wars. With all these side stories filling the gaps between films, I’m at the very least never bored. This also helps with some of the questions I ask regarding the missing years, which have lots of no doubt great adventures hidden within.

Last week I was told(not asked) that I was going to be going to the theater after all the day’s tasks were done. My usual protests about saving or price gouging in the recent years went duly ignored, roping me into the trip to the movies without heeding my advice. To my surprise I was met with a set of tickets to the Super Mario Movie. It lessened the blow but I felt the bank account weeping. Sitting down in those very comfortable(and reclinable) chairs I placed my 3-d glasses on and waited for what I had been waiting my entire childhood for. There was, I’m well aware, already a live action Mario film from my formative years, but we don’t speak of it… the shame is too great. From the second it kicked into gear they sank their claws into my nostalgia. Every track in the score is some kind of classic game rendition, the voice clips had the cast throwing the more iconic character lines too. the roles of each were well placed and voice acting was quite on point for the parts they played, except maybe Bowser who was a bit too much of a comedic foil due to Jack Blacks talented personality taking a bit of creative liberty in the film. I only say “a bit” because anyone who has played Super Mario RPG, to this day one of if not my favorite title in the franchise, had him show a little bit of emotional vulnerability that was mildly in line with what I saw in Black’s portrayal. For two straight hours the 6 year old in me was out and allowed to sit in wonder at finally having his dreams come to life on the big screen, I can’t tell you if that’s the sole reason I loved it or if it truly was good cinema. I will say the rotten tomatoes score by audiences is 98 percent. If I’ve got tinted 3-D glasses of bias, I’m certainly not the ONLY one wearing them.

And then a bit of business… Mailchain. I’m out of time? Oh well guess next week it is then.

Signed,

Woodward Forest-Lich